In Honor of Jen Coming Home
TOP 20 REASONS WHY ALCOHOL IS BAD
20. you avoid elevators because the motion might make you puke.
19. You can't figure out where you left your car last night.
18. YOUR DOG IS LICKING YOUR FACE AS YOU LAY ON THE FLOOR OF YOUR LIVING ROOM AND SUDDENLY YOU REMEMBER, 'I DON'T HAVE A DOG!'
17. it takes you an hour to walk a 1/4 of a mile
16. you fall asleep with a beer in your, not spill a drop, and wake up the next morning and drink it.
15. You have to report your car stolen, because you forget where you left it and then find it in your driveway
14. decide that the toilet is not a good place to take a leak, and procede to try to piss on your friend's shoes. (not I left this on the list because we all know guys who have done this....intentionally)
13. Your mixed drinks taste like shots and your shots are the size of mixed drinks.
12. Your favorite place to sleep is the bathroom, because of the cool tile floor.
11. You claim that you "only smoke when you drink", but you have enough Marlboro miles for the Pool Table.
10. Suddenly, mooning a cop seems like a fun idea
9. You spent Sunday night in jail for cow-tipping -- with your Oldsmobile.
8. Worried friends call Monday morning to make sure you returned the goat.
7. you crawl into the back of 'your' pickup to sleep it off---and the next day you wake up in the back of a stranger's pickup, in their garage, in a town you don't recognize.
6. You have to fight off the urge to kiss everyone in the bar
5. you spend twenty minutes trying unsuccessfully to start your car, only to realize its not your car you're sitting in.
4. You try to pick up women ten years older with the line "Are you seriously thirty?"
3. You look around the bar and realize you are the only non-staff there.
2. you whistle your favourite march melody in the morning, expecting those little dwarfs to march out of your mouth and take along their hammers.
1. You can't remember where you went last night or what you did, but you know you had a good time.
Now I realize that some of these aren't great...or are aimed at guys...but the sad part is sooo many of them sound familiar...either things that have happened to me or us....or guys we know.
Besides it was fun and wasted some time.
20. you avoid elevators because the motion might make you puke.
19. You can't figure out where you left your car last night.
18. YOUR DOG IS LICKING YOUR FACE AS YOU LAY ON THE FLOOR OF YOUR LIVING ROOM AND SUDDENLY YOU REMEMBER, 'I DON'T HAVE A DOG!'
17. it takes you an hour to walk a 1/4 of a mile
16. you fall asleep with a beer in your, not spill a drop, and wake up the next morning and drink it.
15. You have to report your car stolen, because you forget where you left it and then find it in your driveway
14. decide that the toilet is not a good place to take a leak, and procede to try to piss on your friend's shoes. (not I left this on the list because we all know guys who have done this....intentionally)
13. Your mixed drinks taste like shots and your shots are the size of mixed drinks.
12. Your favorite place to sleep is the bathroom, because of the cool tile floor.
11. You claim that you "only smoke when you drink", but you have enough Marlboro miles for the Pool Table.
10. Suddenly, mooning a cop seems like a fun idea
9. You spent Sunday night in jail for cow-tipping -- with your Oldsmobile.
8. Worried friends call Monday morning to make sure you returned the goat.
7. you crawl into the back of 'your' pickup to sleep it off---and the next day you wake up in the back of a stranger's pickup, in their garage, in a town you don't recognize.
6. You have to fight off the urge to kiss everyone in the bar
5. you spend twenty minutes trying unsuccessfully to start your car, only to realize its not your car you're sitting in.
4. You try to pick up women ten years older with the line "Are you seriously thirty?"
3. You look around the bar and realize you are the only non-staff there.
2. you whistle your favourite march melody in the morning, expecting those little dwarfs to march out of your mouth and take along their hammers.
1. You can't remember where you went last night or what you did, but you know you had a good time.
Now I realize that some of these aren't great...or are aimed at guys...but the sad part is sooo many of them sound familiar...either things that have happened to me or us....or guys we know.
Besides it was fun and wasted some time.
posted by Cass at 9:20 AM
1 Comments:
Drinking IS bad. But, in moderation it is fun!!!
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